Sweetest Message

As I was on the bus getting to work, I felt a very familiar feeling creeping up..one which I wish I could brush off easily...

My mind wandered off to the time when I was with him and I started recalling the happy moments we shared...Then, I pictured someone else taking my place, enjoying all that I had with him and I felt an ache crawling slowly up my throat...It gripped me and almost immediately a tear rolled down the corner of my eye..I remained motionless in my seat telling myself he is not my own and there is no need for wasted tears...

I wondered if he ever thought of me now and then as the days fly by...I wondered if his time here was just a passing stop and I was one as well...I wondered if every man that loved me only loved me but for a moment and not more. That's even if they did understand the meaning of love to begin with...How foolish to love and be hurt to the point of hate...But to hate would only confirm the things that I refuse to accept - that love is not meant for everyone.

I brushed my tears and told myself if I keep at this, I will never heal...I am only opening my own wounds and stitching them back together again...No one else is in this picture but me and I hurt myself everytime I let my emotions get the better of me...But how does one live shrugging every emotion that comes along? How do you not spend some time thinking about that some you once loved...It's impossible! Every good memory (and bad one) has come to pass for a purpose...I am over flooded by emotions when I remember him...I feel hope, I feel pain, I feel discouragement, I feel happiness, I feel despair and at times, I even feel love...But they are but barren shadows of what once was...

As I reached my destination, I realize I need to hide my feelings..I can't let people read me like an open book...I erase all that I felt, shrug away the tears and get off the bus like nothing ever happened.

Then as I get to my table, I see a beautiful message from a dear friend which gives me consolation in my moment of despair. A simple message, but a meaningful one nonetheless:

"People come and go, they do good and bad. But leave it all behind and cherish only the good memories you had with them.. Sometimes unintentional acts hurts us or sometimes we just simply look too much into things. but anyhow, cheer up for the brighter days to come!"

Those words were what I needed to hear and I thank God for in His mercy he answered my cry and I feel comforted. 


To you dear friend, your words have made this day better for me and I thank you for putting a smile on my face. God Bless You. :)

Its ok...

Girl,
He will fall in love again
He will soon find someone else,
Nature will take its course
and hand you heartaches and brokenness

But its ok...
Coz' it's going to hurt real bad at first
But the wounds will heal itself
You will pick up the pieces and move on

To you,
It has happened a thousand times
And a thousand times over you have come back strong

Your heart is like a revolving door

People just walk in and out from time to time

But its ok...
Coz' people are just people

And feelings mere clichés

The world is just another black hole for people to throw away their emotions

After all,

He was just playing chess

And your were just another pawn.

It may seem like the end for now
Yet you must move on
though you don't know how.

Green and not liking it

As I was quietly facebooking, you show up and something strikes a chord...I sent you a message and then see that you sent her a message earlier....All I could think of was "don't check, don't check,don't check"...but I did which I regret right now...The wonders of Facebook is that you can see Wall-to-Wall conversations....

So I check ours just to pop down memory lane and I realize that I've posted on your wall so many messages but not once have you on mine...Makes me wonder if I was delusional all this while thinking that you actually cared...On hers you would write random messages but not on mine...I feel like such an idiot right now...And yes, feeling very green...But who am I to complain...not like we are together anymore...Not that anyone cares in the first place...It's only me and this blog as a place to vent...I guess I'm just overreacting and reading too much into things that aren't true...Maybe its just me and my mind perceiving things as I want it perceived...silly me...

I hate Facebook for having the ability to attain such information...I just ruined my own day....

Life Updated

So months have passed by and I've already started my internship..Yes, it is a new semester...One more year and I'll be done with the books...As of now, work seems fairly doable even with the loads of typing and editing and paperworks to do..

For the most part, its going ok so far except for the fact that I've to wake up at 4am to catch the bus at 5.45, to reach work at 6.45 when the office only opens at 8am or so...Yeah, I know...It's crazy but I don't have much of a choice. I guess its "good training" as SOME people put it...I shall not name names but it does annoy me when i hear the whole good training speech...Its not like they have to do it...In any case, at least I know I'm always overly punctual for work..lol...

Apart from that, life is pretty much simple and laid back...There are days when I enjoy the serenity of singlehood but on other days I succumb to the loneliness BUT I am surviving so far..lols...Always looking for an excuse to look on the brighter side of life..:)

Oh and as of later I've been addicted to the series Lie to Me..awesome show and I must say very educational as well. I guess now I can see tell tale signs of lies...lols...believe me I've tested some of the theories and it is proven true..So, I wait for any chance to try discover any "microexpressions"...Lols...